.png)
Being a mom means worrying. Sometimes it feels like it's our official job title, right? We worry about everything: Are they eating enough? Sleeping enough? Playing enough? And, oh, are they too quiet right now?! It’s like our minds are constantly racing, running through lists of all the possible things that could go wrong. But when anxiety takes over, the worry becomes heavier, harder to shake. Suddenly, it’s not just the normal "mom worries"; it’s this underlying, constant hum of stress that can affect how we raise our kids and how we feel day-to-day.
So, let’s talk about this. Let’s break down what anxiety does to us as moms and how it can impact our kids.
The "What-Ifs" Get Louder
Anxiety loves a good “what-if” scenario, doesn’t it? You’ll be rocking your baby to sleep or watching your child run on the playground, and all of a sudden, here come the what-ifs: What if they fall? What if I can’t keep them safe? What if I’m doing this whole thing wrong? When you’re dealing with anxiety, those thoughts aren’t just fleeting; they stick around and grow, casting a shadow over moments that should be filled with joy or calm.
Over time, these constant “what-if” thoughts can make it hard to just be present. It’s easy to get caught up in the loop, and instead of enjoying those little moments with our kids, we’re mentally bracing ourselves for every worst-case scenario. And when we’re in that mode, it’s tough to feel connected and grounded with our kids, even when we really want to be.
Anxiety Tends to Squeeze Out Self-Care
When you’re a mom with anxiety, self-care can feel like a nice idea—one that lives in the realm of bubble baths and Pinterest boards .... or maybe some relaxing Luther? But actually carving out the time for it? That’s another story. Anxiety makes you feel like you always need to be “on,” ready to jump in if something goes wrong. So, even if you do get a chance to take a breather, your mind might not fully unplug.
But here’s the thing: Moms need self-care even more when anxiety is in the picture. Without those little breaks, the pressure can build and build until we feel like we’re running on empty. And if we’re constantly running on empty, it’s harder to be patient, calm, and present with our kids, which makes the anxiety cycle even worse. Taking even five minutes to recharge isn’t selfish; it’s essential.
It’s Easy to Pass the Worry On (Even When We Don’t Mean To)
Kids are like little emotional sponges, aren’t they? They pick up on so much, even when we try to hide it. When we’re anxious, our kids can sense that something’s up. They might not know exactly why Mom seems extra tense or worried, but they feel the energy. This doesn’t mean we should blame ourselves if they pick up on it—trust me, guilt isn’t helpful here. But it’s good to be mindful of how our own anxieties can spill over, even when we don’t realize it.
Sometimes, our anxious habits can lead to extra caution with our kids. For instance, if we’re always warning them to “be careful” or “watch out,” they may start to feel more anxious or fearful too. It’s a natural reaction, and one that often comes from a place of love, but it’s worth remembering that our own anxiety can influence how our kids see the world.
Finding a Way to Talk About It
This is a big one: Opening up about anxiety, especially around our kids, can feel uncomfortable. We want to be seen as capable, strong, and “on top of things.” But the truth is, kids benefit from seeing us handle big feelings, too. If we’re open (in a kid-friendly way) about our own worries or stresses, we can model healthy ways to handle those feelings. You don’t need to dive into all the details, but saying something like, “Mommy feels worried sometimes, and it’s okay to feel that way” can show your child that it’s normal to feel anxious. Plus, if your kids know you’re dealing with something, they might be more likely to share their own worries or fears with you, which can create a comforting environment for everyone.
Leaning on Your Village
It’s no secret that parenting can feel isolating, but anxiety can make it feel especially lonely. You might think, “I should be able to handle this,” or, “Other moms seem to have it all together.” Here’s a little reminder: No one has it all together all the time. Not one person. Reaching out to friends, family, or even a therapist can make a world of difference. Sometimes, just talking to someone who understands can lift that weight a little bit, helping us feel more balanced and capable. You’d be surprised how many other moms feel the same way. You are far from alone in this. And if asking for help feels hard, start small. Even texting a friend for a quick vent session can be a great first step.
Be Kind to Yourself
This might be the hardest one to put into practice. When anxiety is always in the background, it’s easy to get frustrated with ourselves. We think, “Why can’t I just relax and enjoy this time with my kids?” But being kind to ourselves isn’t about “just relaxing”; it’s about understanding that anxiety is a part of our experience as moms. Sometimes it will be more intense, sometimes it’ll be lighter, but none of it makes us less of a good mom. In fact, the very fact that we worry so much often shows just how deeply we care. So, give yourself a break when you can. Take things one day (or one moment) at a time. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.
The Bottom Line
Motherhood and anxiety can feel like they’re at odds, but we’re more resilient than we think. Yes, the anxious thoughts might show up uninvited, but that doesn’t make us any less capable of raising amazing kids. By finding small ways to manage our own anxiety—whether through self-care, talking it out, or just being kinder to ourselves—we can make space to truly enjoy the roller coaster of motherhood. And at the end of the day, isn’t that what we all want?
So, to all the anxious moms out there: You’re not alone. You’re stronger than you know. And your kids? They’re lucky to have you, just as you are.
Comments